Butterscotch Pudding and a Touch of Scarlet
My mother kept a red step-stool for me in the kitchen. I used to stand on it so I could see over the top of the stove where I would watch her cook, or sometimes I would slide it over to the sink so I could stand next to her as she cleaned and washed fresh vegetables for dinner. My mother loved things that were red. She told me that red was the color of beauty and happiness, and she always had something red around the house to remind us of such simple things.
When I got older, and grew taller, I didn’t need my red step-stool to see the stove anymore, but she always kept it in the same spot in our kitchen. When my brothers and little sister came along, they each took their turns standing on that very same red step-stool, each of them standing next to our mother while she cooked. I think I’ll always remember the look on her face the day I decided that I was big enough to make myself butterscotch pudding. I slid my red step-stool over to the stove, got a saucepan out of the bottom cabinet, took the carton of milk out of the refrigerator, and dumped the contents of the package into the pan and waited for something to happen. Nothing did, well, except getting a stern glare from my mother, until the sight of her oldest daughter staring at a cold saucepan filled with pudding mix got the better of her. And to this day, when I see something red, or when I eat my butterscotch pudding, I remember that none of us are ever too big to need a step-stool once in a while.
After some long thought, I’ve decided to take a sabbatical. There isn’t any one reason why I feel this way, but I think it’s the best thing for me right now. Maybe a couple of weeks, maybe longer. I’m not sure yet.
Update 5/3 10:30 AM
It seems as tho my sabbatical is going to be cut to a one week vacation. Two assignments came in this morning which I couldn’t say no to…. so there you have it. See you in a week!
Without going into any long dissertation or making any big grandiose statements about all of this, my waters are just going to quietly recede a bit for now, and I will say no more. I do want to make it perfectly clear tho, I am not shutting this site down, and I have absolutely every intention on returning.
I’ve learned the lesson that there’s a world of difference between blogging and writing, and I want to focus on writing because I’ve found that I can’t do both at the same time. One always suffers for the other. I want to go for walks on the beach and sit on the breakers with my laptop and write about what I feel and see. I want to go to the arboretum and public gardens and take in the flowers. I want to live richly and enjoy my life and experiences, and then perhaps, when the time is right, I’ll share some of them again, but for now, I need a break. Perhaps some time away will also give my personal ‘fan club’ someone else to think about for a while.
I also want to work on some things for this site that are outside of the normal everyday posts and comments. I want to think about the links page, and categories and content. There’s still a lot I have left to say, but I need some time away from it all in order to truly be at my best, and I’m going to take that time. I’ll still be around to answer comments and please feel free to peruse my archives. If you want to get in touch with me, I’m only an email away. (nina.aoki@lazygeisha.com)
So, until I return, please take care of the place.
Aishiteru wa!
1Mike
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 6:21
Nina, it’s been refreshing to read your thoughts and here of your experiences. I’ve only been here for a short time, but do look forward to reading more in the future. I think you have so much more to say and share. Unfortunately, people take things for granted, looking merely at the image and not what created the image. I hope your time off heals your pains of betrayal and rests your mind and soul. It’s time to enjoy yourself, this time of year, walk away knowing that your writings have touched a may people and brought joy into there heart and lives. You have made me think of things, I haven’t taken the time in years to think about. I do hope to see you back, but until then, I wish you peace,happiness and tranquility.
Sincerely
Mike
2Peter Johnson
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 10:43
Dear Nina,
I’m sorry to hear you will be taking a sabbatical (its great for you, but sad for this reader).
I’ll continue to look forward to your saucy stories and essays and wish you a speedy return to the blogosphere!
Sincerely,
Pete
3Mistress S
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 10:58
Red is the color of life, love, passion. It is the color that speaks to me the most. And anyone who holds me close becomes very fond of the color also.
As for your time away. I hope you enjoy it and find what you need. I’ll always be a fan. Be good to you.
S
4Richard
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 11:03
Nina: I’m very sad, that I won’t be able to log on the Lazy Geisha each and every morning, BUT Nina I really understand. We have the need for that step stool in our lives. I will contact you with a e-mail. Enjoy the beach there and all that the sea gives up each and every six hours as the tide comes and goes. I will always be here for you. Love Richard
5M:e
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 11:10
May the loving thoughts of others soothe your soul while you take some time away.
peaceful blessings sweety….take care of you xxx
6Carol
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 11:41
This is one of my “check it daily” sites. :-) I hope some of your new writing will make it here, and meanwhile I’ll take the time to review some of your earlier entries. I know the feeling — I feel like taking a sabbatical from the “friend” I described the other day. What you wrote helps me remember sometimes distance is a good thing, not “running away” in a negative sense.
Love, Carol
7tasha
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 13:18
kudos to you, nina. you need to do what’s best for you. as a loyal reader, i hope your sabbatical brings you much joy, pleasure, and a clear, balanced mind. enjoy!
8Steffy
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 14:36
I hope your time is wonderful and relaxing. I am happy for you taking a break!! You deserve it!!
All the kindness you have given to all your readers is time for you now to give a little to yourself. I am just glad it is not forever! I was worried about that :)
Take care,
LOve,
Steffy
9J
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 20:30
That is a wonderful idea, Nina. Go and look around you, and write about what you see. The world can always benefit from a fresh interpretation…
I hope you find what you seek. J
10nina
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 20:35
Mike,
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, and for your lovely emails.
Well, people may take things for granted, and to a degree that’s perfectly fine. People make the choice to spend some of their time reading my words and sharing in this with me, so I think there’s a degree of expectation here, which is why I wanted to let people know that I’m taking a little break.
My reasons for needing a little break are much larger than just being upset about one specific situation. You’d have to know the entire history of my year and a half of keeping this journal and everything I’ve been thru, and I have no real desire to retell the whole story again, but I’ve been feeling that I need some new inspiration and I need to not be so emotionally invested in cyberia.
What you may not realize is just how much work is involved in keeping this site what it is, and not that I’m complaining, but I’ve more or less been going straight out since December of 2005! I even updated my journal when I went to Paris last October! So this is an “official” break, and you know what, I might feel better in a few days or a week or two weeks… I’m just going to go with the flow. Plus there are a lot of things I want to do with the site overall related to design, layout and content, so my break is more or less just with new posts. I’ll still be around.
And thank you so much for your well wishes, they are most appreciated!
xoxo,
nina
11nina
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 20:36
Peter,
Thank you for your support and encouragement. As I’ve said, this is planned to be a short break, but we’ll see how it goes.
Thanks so much!
xoxo,
nina
12nina
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 20:38
S,
Thank you so much for sharing that with me. Red is a very special color to me as well, so let’s say we’ll be anticipating seeing more of it around here in the future!
I appreciate you being there sweetheart. I’ll be back soon.
xoxo,
nina
13nina
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 20:41
Richard,
Oh don’t be sad sweetie! The time will pass you by like a breeze and I’ll still be here.
Yes, all of us do need those step-stools at different points in our lives. Right now I need to step back a bit from this and take the pressure off myself and put the focus back on writing and exploring this life. There are only so many hours in the day, and only so much life to live. We must always remember to make the most of all of what we’re given, so right now, I need to live some of my life away from the blogosphere. But I’m a writer sweetie, I couldn’t stop if I tried. It’s part of who I am, so there will always be something left to say.
Thank you sweetheart… and you can always email me.
xoxo,
nina
14nina
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 20:42
M:e,
Thank you sweetheart! But I’ll tell you, it’s the loving thoughts of others which will bring me back sooner. :kissing:
Thank you my dearest friend,
xoxo,
nina
15nina
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 20:46
Carol,
You are so very kind, and I’m honored that my life has become part of your everyday life, and that you are kind enough to share some of yours with me. Such friendships and connections we make are why I do this, and why I will continue to do this. Yes, exactly. All I’m looking for right now is a little space, a little distance, a little room… to think, to feel, to dream, to love, to make love, and to experience everything I can. This isn’t a negative or bad thing. This is exactly what I need, but I wanted to share that with those who choose to read here. Someone once shared with me that they always hated when people just abandoned their blogs and vanished without a word. I would have to agree. I think all of this becomes part of our lives, and when someone just disappears, we feel a sense of loss. So, I wanted to let people know how I was feeling and what to expect. I thought it to be the most courteous thing to do.
Thank you so much sweetie,
xoxo,
nina
16nina
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 20:47
tasha,
Thank you sweetheart! :kissing:
Some distance I think is exactly what I need to get some balance back! I think it will all work out just fine!
xoxo,
nina
17nina
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 20:49
Steffy,
Thank you honey! I do plan to enjoy this, and of course not, I couldn’t walk away forever. This and all of you are part of my life now, and I cherish every one of you.
It will be okay, don’t worry.
xoxo,
nina
18nina
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 20:50
J,
I completely agree! All artists, of any variety need inspiration!
I think to know that we seek something is the first step to finding it.
Thanks so much!
xoxo,
nina
19JW
wrote on 2 May 2007 at 21:55
Y’know, this could be a good time to break in your backups.
Say for instance, Lazy Samurai, or Also Lazy Geisha, or Lazy Maiko or maybe even Lazy Oka-San?
Ah, the mind wanders.
20pile0nades
wrote on 3 May 2007 at 7:44
I hope your sabbatical brings you full healing and new strength and inspiration. :)
Love,
Gary
BTW, did you get my emails?
21nina
wrote on 3 May 2007 at 16:49
JW,
You mean recruit some Maiko? Hmmm. Well, that’s certainly something to think about! But it looks like my ’sabbatical’ is only going to be a week long vacation now. I confirmed some writing commitments which involve this site, so just a short break for me now.
Keep your mind wandering sweetie!
xoxo,
nina
22nina
wrote on 3 May 2007 at 16:50
Gary,
Thank you sweetheart! I’m taking tomorrow thru Monday off, and I’m going to recharge. But I’ll be back next week!
I only checked my mail this morning, so yes, I did get them hon, thank you so much for being there! :kissing:
xoxo,
nina
23JW
wrote on 3 May 2007 at 17:28
” . . . . so just a short break for me now.”
Well, like Professor Farnsworth (from Futurama) says, “Good news everyone!” ;)
24nina
wrote on 3 May 2007 at 22:22
JW,
I’ve just spent the night being Horrified listening to the republican debate on MSNBC. OMG! These guys are scary! Grrr!!!
xoxo,
nina
25JW
wrote on 4 May 2007 at 9:52
I didn’t watch it, but that bunch is s-c-a-r-y. You know what “Republican” these days means . . . . frightened white christian male. And they don’t believe in evolution . . . . that’s kinda funny considering the alternative like this.
Btw, they’re not really Republicans.
Ten (and a half) reasons why Republicans—yes, Republicans—are the best party in bed By Anonymous
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’d think Democrats would be better in the sack, because they’re usually, well…better human beings in general. Plus, they’re so em-oh-tional and sen-sitive and they genuinely care about your day. And how you feel. And how you felt yesterday. “Is there anything you need?” they whimper. Oh, shutthefuckup! This is sex we’re talking about! After numerous years of intensive research on both sides of the aisle—and sometimes in the aisle—I am here to report that Republican men (except the closet cases) are infinitely better to have sex with. Here’s why.
1. NO CONSCIENCE!
A Republican man will never whine in the middle of the night—let alone in the middle of screwing you—about the girlfriend/wife/whatever he is “devastating” by sleeping with you. He just does it. It’s all about him—he needs to be the best you ever had, and that can be a good thing if your getting off is contingent on his. He doesn’t even stay for breakfast. (Though if you do make him breakfast, he is eternally grateful and will go down on you for another several hours.) One word: pancakes!
2. NO TEARS!
A Republican man will never, ever cry. Not on election night (no matter what happens). Not when you’re breaking up with him (what, you think he cared?). Not even when he’s having “a problem I’ve never had before, really, I’m not kidding, I swear.”
3. A SENSE OF PERSPECTIVE
I’ve dated Democrats whose nights have been ruined (forever!) due to some stupid-ass comment by Bill Frist on Hardball. I’ve watched them go all mopey, argue with the TV…and then their little weenies disappear. Not so with GOPers. Republicans, particularly when naked, do not want to sit around and talk about Social Security privatization. Or Iraq, for chrissake. Or why (oh, boo hoo, get over it!) Kerry lost. They don’t even want to sit around naked and talk about George W. Bush. They just want you to sit on them.
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
Republicans are happy to watch Jon Stewart with you. They think he’s a riot. They don’t parse every word he says in an effort to figure out if “The Huffington Post” will approve. They just laugh, pour another cocktail, and decide upon which couch they will fuck your brains out after the show.
5. FOREPLAY
Democrats often need something incredibly erotic—like Meet the Press—to get revved up, particularly on a Sunday morning (there are only so many sections of The New York Times). Republicans, on the other hand, don’t even need Fox News to get it up. They understand that foreplay is about sex. And lots of it. Democrats are too busy checking if the condoms you keep in the jar by the bed are good for the environment. And by the time they figure that out, we’ve all lost our erections.
6. SIZE
It is absolutely, positively, 100 percent true that Republicans have bigger dicks. Just ask Lynne Cheney. (Dick is the Liam Neeson of Washington!)
7. EFFICIENCY
Republicans are much more likely to whip their dicks out during the cab ride back from dinner. (This is not an urban myth.) They are also more inclined to get started in the elevator, pin you against a wall, do you on the kitchen sink, wherever. Democrats bring jammies, spend at least twenty minutes prior to “sex time” doing God knows fucking what in the bathroom, and then emerge with a big grin that says: “After all I did for you supporting equal pay and abortion rights, the least you could do is make love to me.” Democrats always think you owe them. Republicans, because they’ve never done a goddamn thing for you, have no such delusions.
8. LARGESSE
Republicans have great taste in restaurants and will never make the wussiest of pre-date proposals: “You pick.” They understand that a woman wants a guy who knows how to pick a restaurant by himself. And who doesn’t feel the need to tell you what Zagat said about it before you get there. A Republican also knows how to order wine without getting all prissy about it, never dissects the bill (they don’t even look at it!), and will never, ever—ever—say, “Well, yes, I think that’s fair; your half comes to $39.25, but you had one more drink than I did,” if you offer to pay. They won’t let you think about offering to pay. This is so sexy! The best part: There’s never any guilt involved; we all know they got their tax break.
9. WOOING TECHNIQUES
Republicans will never send you group e-mails that consist of the entire text of Al Gore’s last speech (that was “woefully underreported” but “I knew you’d want to read it in its entirety”). Or the sign-up sheet for Democracy in Action, or whatever the hell those weirdos from the Howard Dean campaign are up to now. Or forms to send your congressperson because something terrible is happening to some woman you don’t know in Niger. (And you’d better send it to a hundred more friends or her labia will be removed tonight!!!) Nah. Republicans send e-mails that say: “I can’t wait to eat your pussy.”
10. NIGHTSTAND READING
You will never hear a Republican say, “Let’s just cuddle and read The New Yorker tonight.” They understand you do not want reading materials in bed. You want a man.
10.5. THE BIG CAVEAT
Yes, Republicans are the better lay—but only the Republicans you’ve never heard of. The more prominent they are, the less fuckable they are. The opposite is true of Democrats. Think about it. Is there any woman on the face of the earth who wouldn’t fuck Bill Clinton? (Didn’t think so.) But with a gun to your head, could you even think of doing Santorum? DeLay? Lott? Yuck, yuck, yuck! Okay, with a gun to our head, we might do W. And Cheney. Definitely Cheney. As long as we’re blindfolded. (But that’s okay. Republicans are into that, too.)
26Lady Neaya
wrote on 4 May 2007 at 14:28
Aaaawh! I’m gonna miss you! But as you should know I’ll be right here when you return!
Big Huggs, & a kiss on the side,
your #1 brat!
Neaya
27nina
wrote on 4 May 2007 at 16:54
JW,
You nut! hahaha!
Well, from a perfectly sexual point of view, republican men are usually very good in bed! For all the reasons listed! BUT! They’re also the most likely to want you to shove a tennis racket up their ass too! You know, all that sexuality those poor boys have been repressing!
Interestingly enough, when I first met my husband, he was endemic of that 80’s Wall Street Yuppie BMW driving type! Yes, he was a Reaganite, and very good in bed! (No tennis racket tho!) :biggrin:
Tho my experience with republican women isn’t exactly the same. I’ll have to tell that story sometime! hahaha! Tho, GOP women do know how to dress smartly.
Thanks sweetie. This made me laugh!
xoxo,
nina
ps - Yes, I would fuck Bill Clinton!
28nina
wrote on 4 May 2007 at 16:56
Neaya,
That’s right! You are my #1 Brat! haha!
We went down to the beach in Narragansett , Rhode Island today! Very nice! A little windy tho, and I stopped at this little shop and bought the most beautiful porcelain doll! She’s so pretty!
Thanks sweetie, I’ll be back in the swing of things next week. I’m already starting to feel better!
xoxo,
nina
29JW
wrote on 4 May 2007 at 17:33
I’ll have to remember to add a joke once in awhile. Here’s one for the weekend.
The Mistress
A husband and wife are having dinner at a fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who the hell was that?” “Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”
“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce.” “I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. “Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife. “That’s his mistress,” says her husband. “Ours is prettier,” she replies.
30nina
wrote on 4 May 2007 at 17:35
lmao!
Very funny JW. Very funny.
Mmmwwaahhh!
Tho, you have to remember a woman’s ultimate trump card.
HALF!
:biggrin:
31JW
wrote on 4 May 2007 at 19:27
As long as it’s in the pre-nup, dearest Nina, as long as it’s in the pre-nup. hehehehe ;)
Have a great naked weekend.
* * * * *
DOOMSDAY
It’s a few minutes before Sunday service.
Without warning, Satan appears at the front of the church.
Everyone starts screaming and running for an exit, trampling on each other in a bid to escape evil incarnate.
Everyone except for one elderly gentleman, that is.
He sits calmly, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in front of him.
Satan walks right up to the old man and says: “Don’t you know who I am?”
The man replies: “Yep, sure do.”
“Aren’t you afraid?” Satan asks.
“Nope, sure ain’t,” says the old man.
“Do you know I can kill you with a single word?” asks Satan.
“Don’t doubt it for a minute,” retorts the old man, in an even tone.
“Don’t you realise that I could cause you profound, horrifying agony for all eternity?” persists Satan.
“Yep,” is the calm reply.
“And yet you’re still not afraid?”
“No.”
Perturbed, Satan asks: “Well why aren’t you afraid of me?”
The old man looks Satan right in the eye and calmly replies: “Been married to your sister for 52 years.”
* * * * *
STRAIGHT-TALKING BIRDS
A woman approaches her priest and tells him: “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
“What do they say?” the priest inquires.
“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Want to have some fun?’”
“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaims. “But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male parrots, whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach you parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship.”
“Thank you!” the woman exclaims.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. His two male parrots are holding beads and praying.
When the lady puts her two female parrots in the cage with the two male parrots, her two say: “Hi! We’re prostitutes. Want to have some fun?”
At which one male parrot looks at the other and shouts: “Put the beads away! Our prayers have been answered!”
32Sean
wrote on 4 May 2007 at 21:39
Being a Republican, I thought the 10 reasons were spot on. About that Tennis Racket thing, girls don’t like that. Hmmm. Could explaing why I have never been married. Damn.
33Lenora
wrote on 5 May 2007 at 9:51
nina . . .
It truly is difficult to both write and blog (and have a “normal” life besides). I keep blogging about how hard it is — hahaha there’s some grist for the therapy mill in there, I’m sure — but sometimes a little break is the only solution.
Will miss you, and look forward to your return. Hugs and kisses . . .
–L.
34Kim
wrote on 6 May 2007 at 17:04
Yes, I know myself that it’s hard to keep focused on writing as it is, without the sense of obligation a blog demands. Please don’t do anything that doesn’t bring you joy and make your world a more beautiful place.
Will miss your words.
XX
Kim
35nina
wrote on 7 May 2007 at 6:46
JW,
pre-nups? Don’t you believe in true love my dear?
I did have a good weekend! Thanks! And thanks for the jokes! They were… cute. :biggrin:
xoxo,
nina
36nina
wrote on 7 May 2007 at 6:49
Sean,
Oh you’re a Republican are you now? Hmmm, well, I won’t hold that against you! Your boys looked a little silly on MSNBC the other night!
And yeso, the tennis racket thing scares us! haha!
Thanks!
xoxo,
nina
37nina
wrote on 7 May 2007 at 6:51
Lenora sweetheart,
You are so right! Writing and blogging being such different things, yet so connected together. Hmmm, maybe next time I’ll consider therapy! I’m sure I could use some! But for now, just a little break. I’ll probably be ready to show myself tomorrow.
And thank you! It’s nice to be missed!
xoxo,
nina
38nina
wrote on 7 May 2007 at 6:53
Kim,
That’s just it, keeping up with the demand. And not that I mind that, but you know, writing is just so different. Any time you try and impose deadlines on a writer it just frustrates the hell out of the whole process.
I’m doing just fine, finding my way back to center again. I’ll be posting again soon, I promise.
Thank you sweetheart,
xoxo,
nina
39Carol
wrote on 8 May 2007 at 10:54
Snort! I liked the Republicans list, and I sent it to a co-worker who has Republican sympathies. When she forwarded it to her friends, she removed 10.5. Naturally I thought that was the funniest part, but I would never suggest anyone lacked a sense of humor for removing it… :-)
I say go Green! Wood. ‘Nuff said.
40nina aoki
wrote on 8 May 2007 at 13:29
Hi Carol!
Thanks hon! Things will be back to normal around here tomorrow!
xoxo,
nina