What would have happened if I hadn’t seen him looking at me that sunny spring afternoon so long ago? What would have happened, if, when he knocked on my door, I didn’t answer? What would have happened if he never asked for my phone number? What if he never saw me that day?

It’s the odd connection of events; places, people, times, and maybe even a touch of serendipity that alters the path of your life forever. Or perhaps, what if fate exists and it was all meant to be, and none of us really have much say in the matter? I wonder sometimes about the course of my life; how I got here, how the people in my life came to be there with me, and when it’s so still and quiet at night, I sometimes lay in my bed and think to myself, I wouldn’t change a single thing; Marriage. Motherhood. Divorce. Superior Cunning Wit. Reconciliation. Marriage again. No, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I think the paths we walk thru life, in some instances, are beyond our understanding; that the currents of the universe carry us thru her waters to places and to people who are meant to walk them with us. Buddhism teaches us that we walk with the same people throughout all our lifetimes; that those we meet, we’ve likely met before in another life. Perhaps they were a friend, or a sibling, or a spouse. Haven’t you ever met someone and just known that you knew them, and that no matter what unknown turns the path may bear ahead, that person would inexorably be connected to your life in ways you could never fully understand, and would always be with you no matter what?

You just knew.

Tho the universe in all her perfection sometimes plays tricks on us. Sometimes we encounter those who seem so familiar, so right, so much in harmony with our own spirit that we entertain the possibility that we may have known this person before in another lifetime, and then things change and they’re gone; but maybe, just maybe, that’s the way it was supposed to be. I once wrote that people come into our lives for a reason, even tho we may never understand what that reason is, we must simply accept that the universe will sometimes bring us sorrow and sometimes bring us joy thru the spirits which our lives are sewn and bound with. It is order in a world of chaos, but perhaps, we’ve all known each other before, and always will in this eternal ballet of life.

It’s funny to me how my own plans often collide with the ebbs and flows of the world around me. I’ve actually been quite productive the last couple of days! I mentioned a few days ago here that I’d been feeling like I’d been in an extra long funk, kind of like I’d taken a metaphysical Quaalude and was riding out the ultimate downer hangover, but I was bound and determined to snap out of it one way or another, so I forced myself to pay attention to all the little details which go into making geishaland dance, and little by little, I started getting things done, and then I started feeling better! So, let’s update things here a bit…

I finally made it to that mess of a Links page I keep and I went thru the blogroll and updated things there, which was so long overdue! A few blogs are gone, a few are now private, and two no longer seemed to be interested in linking to geishaland anymore, which is perfectly fine. I have to admit being a little hurt and disappointed about one of those sites because I was once close to the woman who wrote it, but, that’s just the way it goes out here in cyberia.

And while thinking about all that, I started thinking about the whole genesis and the Darwinian evolution of geishaland, and how much this space, and I, have changed.

For the most part, all of those changes have been really positive, even tho I had to go thru periods of difficulty to reach this place of peace and serenity; I’m actually quite happy with how things turned out. But, I did take some time to reflect on my past a bit where geishaland is concerned, I mean, I started out writing about my reconciliation with my husband, and I think the things I wrote at that time were a true mirror of what was going on in my life. I had a lot of sexual energy and bringing that all together with rebuilding my relationship really allowed me to delve deep into my erotic core, to where my writing mirrored my experiences. I allowed myself to fully explore the submissive nature of my sexuality, and I confronted the very real issues and complexities of my bisexuality, and along the way I think I found my voice, and now, I no longer feel constrained by anyone else’s rules, which is exactly how it should be.

After I dealt with the Links page, I just had to deal with the Reviews page, and I went thru all of my sex toy reviews published within the site itself and all of the mirror .pdf files that go along with them. Those files have updated links and I also got around to changing a few of the banners here too, which I think is kind of cool, and I hope to add and switch a few more just to keep things interesting, and I also decided that now is not the right time to change the look of geishaland either, it’s presently far too ambitious for me right now so you’re stuck with what you see for the immediate future, unless I can coerce hubby to work on it for me! (Hint, Hint) :kissing:

Other stuff

I would be such a shit if I didn’t wish my lovely bestest friend Aimee a very Happy Birthday! I love you angel! I hope you had a wonderful day! We’ll see you in October!

I also received a lovely ecard from Kris reminding me that we’ve finally reached the halfway point of summer! Yay! I can’t stand this heat much longer babe! Thank you so much sweetie!

I’m also a little sad because my dearest Butterfly is going thru such a difficult time right now and I feel so helpless because there’s nothing I can do except be her friend and hope that will be enough. Her latest entries are simply heart wrenchingly painful to read, but so real and so necessary. She defines the very idea of writing for yourself and not giving a shit what anyone else thinks about it, and she does it with grace and dignity. I just wish I had a magic wand to take all the pain away. I love you honey and I hope things get better.

Not too long ago I wrote an entry here about confronting sexual taboos, and my feeling at the time was that I really wanted to explore thru my words a facet of my sexuality which dealt with role playing. It’s still a subject that’s almost haunting me to come out, but my fear has been, perhaps wrongly so, that if I did write about some of these things, the collective reaction would be, “Good lord… she’s someone’s mother??!” – and maybe that’s okay, but it’s been on my mind again and I think it may be time to open some of those doors. So, we’ll see.

It sometimes feels like I’m this discombobulated mess of contradictions who can’t get anything done, so again I’ll say (‘again you bitch?’), that I’m going to try and tie off all the loose ends on all of the things I’ve started writing and haven’t finished yet. I know. I know. But I mean it this time! And I’m also going to organize my planned projects, which includes a few more toy reviews and some other really important stuff!

And there’s a new sex blog listing site in the neighborhood. It’s called Eye of Venus and you can check them out here. I wish them great success with their venture. Bonne Chance EoV!

Tho, I suppose that means I should write some sex-type-stuff now, right? — along with whatever else pops into this ‘Teutonic-Bleached-Blonde’ head of mine. Oh yes, I went blonde, c’est la mode… Best $250.00 bucks (plus tip) I’ve ever spent. No kidding. Now I just wish my tits were bigger… sigh. Would it be déclassé to put up a tip jar to help pay for breast augmentation surgery?

Um, nevermind.

You’ve got Blonde

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

Thank you again to Jodo for the lovely picture! And a special thanks to JW for inspiring me to find a blonde joke to end this entry!

Enjoy your Thursday, y’all.