I caught my husband cheating on me…
My worst fears have come to pass. I’m bereft… heartbroken… suicidal even. Life is simply not worth living without the affections of the man I love, and now I don’t know what I’m going to do. Maybe it was only a matter of time before my husband went looking for something else, maybe I should have seen this coming, I mean, how many blowjobs does a girl have to give to secure the devotions of an American male these days? We all know that men are pigs and will stick their cocks in anything with a heartbeat, and if it was just sex… just a torrid little love affair… I might even be able to get over it – but this is far worse. I’ve been robbed of the emotional connection, the trust, the being able to look him in the eyes and know, just know, that I was the only one he saw. And how am I supposed to go on now? I just don’t know. The revenge fuck isn’t my style, and we already went thru a divorce once… but maybe this is really the end of my beautiful fairy tale life.
It all started when Jeff and I first started talking about getting back together two years ago and maybe trying to do it right this time. We made plans, we spent hours talking, making love, and remembering every single thing that drove us wild about each other, but there was a catch… his two cats were part of the deal – and I was fine with that.
We had always managed to have an assortment of cats and dogs when we were together before, and I was sure that it was going to be fine when Jeff moved back in with me, even tho his female cat Java used to steal my underwear off the floor and hide them behind the sofa after they’d been pulled off my body and carelessly tossed aside as our heat and passion overwhelmed us in our throes of lovemaking. But then there was Moe… his male cat and constant companion for many years.
Moe was always jealous of me but in a passive aggressive sort of way – like when Jeff and I were snuggling in bed together, Moe would skulk his way up along the length of the bed, up over the duvet, and squeeze himself right in between us. He would stretch the entire length of his body out and plop himself right between our heads, and always with his back turned to me, and always licking Jeff’s face, and rubbing his tiny head against Jeff’s cheek, just to assert himself and to let me know who Jeff really belonged to – and to tell the truth, I thought it was kind of cute… until yesterday.
Moe has always been a strange cat, and he’s very affectionate towards my Jeffrey, and Jeff used to tease me and tell me that Moe was just his gay cat and not to worry about it, and I didn’t. I trusted my husband and took his word for it that this was the cat’s problem, not his, and certainly not something I needed to be worried about.
Why is the wife always the last one to know?
Jeff took the day off from work yesterday, and I was busy running around doing errands and some shopping, and we had just planned a normal quiet evening at home. When I left for the store, he kissed me goodbye, patted me on the ass and told me that he’d see me later and that he was probably going to take a nap and he asked me to wake him up when I got home. So, okay, nothing odd there right?
The house was quiet when I got home from the store. Jeff wasn’t around so I assumed that he was upstairs in bed. Our son was out with his friends and we probably wouldn’t see him until later that evening, so I figured I’d just go upstairs, get undressed and slip under the covers with my husband.
I put away a few things and then started to make my way up the stairs when I heard a strange sound… it was singing… it was Jeff singing… but who was he singing to? All of a sudden my heart sank. “Oh my God…” I thought to myself. “Is he on the phone?” “Who is he singing to and where can I find the bitch?” “Oh no… what if he isn’t alone…?”
I couldn’t say a word. I just stood at the foot of the stairs on the landing and just listened.
“Some people want to fill the world… with silly love songs… duh dah duh duh… duh duh… And whats wrong with that? Id like to know, cause here I go….. again!!! I….. love….. you….. duh dah duh duh… duh duh… I…. love…you….”
“What the fuck?” I said to myself…”He’s fucking singing Wings? Who the hell is he singing Wings to??”
“I….love…..”
“JEFFREY!”
“..you… Oh! Hey honey! You home?”
“Who the hell are you singing to???” I demanded.
“Ahhh…. Um…”
“JEFF!”
“What?”
“Who are you singing to I said!”
“Um… Moe…”
“MOE?”
“Yeah.”
I stormed upstairs; my face was red and angry, my fists and teeth clenched as I nearly kicked the bedroom door open and saw my husband laying across our bed, and the cat, that fucking cat, just laying there… gazing into my husband’s eyes… blissfully unaware of anything else in the world except my Jeffrey.
“Have you lost your mind?!” I screamed
“What?” he answered with a quizzical look on his face as he desperately tried to contain his laughter, but I was still pissed.
“I thought…”
“You thought what?” he asked.
“nevermind….” I said sheepishly as I sat down on the bed next to him.
“Oh. What? You thought I had another woman up here? In our bed?? Are you fucking kidding me? Tell me you’re not that insecure nina! Look, I value my balls okay?” he laughed.
“You shut the fuck up!” I shot back. “You take the day off from work… and I come home and hear you singing love songs up in our bedroom… and I’m not here… and then I find out that you’re singing to the cat! THE FUCKING CAT! Fuck you Jeff!”
Now he was in hysterics, and as much as I tried to hide it and pretend I was angry, I couldn’t help but laugh either. Jeff leaned over and kissed me and pulled me down onto the bed next to him and gave me a hug.
And as we laid there kissing and laughing… Moe got up, crawled in between us and plopped himself down… but this time he faced me and stared at me with those green eyes of his and meowed.
“Fuck you cat…” he’s mine!
So, our plans of shipping up to Boston tonight have sadly been cancelled. Our son has been acting up and we grounded him for the weekend, so we’re going to spend the night at home and hopefully watch the Red Sox win game six of the ALCS! Yay! Then with any luck, tonight will turn into Stay Naked Sunday and this lazy geisha will get some of that good marital lovin’ she’s come to expect and feel entitled to!
There’s nothing quite like make up sex now is there?
Enjoy your weekend!
1Richard
wrote on 20 October 2007 at 19:59
I just sort of flipped on the Lazygeisha, and your post made a boring kind of day oh so funny. You had me when I first started to read, but soon, I caught on to you Nina. What is so funny,we have a cat who is just like Moe,This cat loves me, and always crawls up my back and settles down on my back just about even with my neck, and just lays her head down and goes to sleep purring. I love it. Have a great weekend my friend Nina. Richard
2Tonya Jone Miller
wrote on 20 October 2007 at 23:10
:devil:
You had me rolling on the floor, Nina! I had a feline companion for 14 years who I unfortunately lost in July. However for all of our time together, every man in my life knew that Vincent was my true love. More than one man walked in on the scene you described, with Vinnie staking his claim on my chest…
3Tasha
wrote on 21 October 2007 at 1:46
SO GREAT! this piece brought a huge smile to my face.
i am an avid kitty lover- even if most of my kitties prefer my husband, i am still a pussy slut, and i don’t care. MEOW!
xoxo
4omi
wrote on 21 October 2007 at 11:18
oh god you scared me! lol.
…but after i scrolled down long enough to realize you were kidding, i laughed my way through this.
i am currently living with my first cat, and they are VERY interesting creatures…mine has a penchant for tearing up my carpet when i won’t wake up at 4-5am to fill an empty bowl or play.
*sigh*
5Terry
wrote on 21 October 2007 at 14:01
I know just how you feel. But ours are K-nines. My husband has a chow-mix that ADORES him and tolerates me. So I got a cute little papillon to show them two (or four) could play this game! But the joke’s on me - she ADORES him and tolerates me as well, damn traitor! (grin)
Thanks for the smiles,
Terry
6StripGoddess
wrote on 21 October 2007 at 14:41
LMFAO! You silly bitch, you scared the shit out of me.
7Kyma
wrote on 21 October 2007 at 16:28
Nina,
ROFL… that was so amusing, I needed that after what’s been happening to me, stress, exhaustion and now catching the flu… you’ve brought a smile to my weary face :)
8Aimee
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 9:11
Hee hee
That was a positively wonderful way to start my day! Thanks, gorgeous!
Mwah!
I love you!
9Mike
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 9:58
Hey Nina, good one.AT first glance was shocked…you got me… Hope you enjoyed your 3some…haha..oh bye the way….
“GO SOX!!!!” OMG!!! and “THE PATS” That was AWESOME!!! Especially living 15 miles from dolphin stadium, there were a lot of grumpy people here…made sure to wear my PATS gear to really rub it in…That was great last night. It was a great weekend in total….take care.
Mike
10Michael
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 11:17
Ok, you got me………I was reliving my divorce from 10 years ago from when I found out my ex had been cheating for two years……..
Then I began to read the remainder and began laughing……..
I hate/love this post!!
11dinsdale_piranha
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 15:42
funny stuff! But he could never resist the offer of two pussies you can offer (and enjoy!).
12Carol
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 17:36
You made me cry again!
Plplplplplplplplplplpl! (That’s a raspberry)
13nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:09
Hello Richard,
Thanks sweetie. You can feel free to take Moe off my hands any time you like!
xoxo,
nina
14nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:10
Tonya,
lmao! Thanks hon!
I’m sorry you lost your cat tho. I know how cat lovers get attached to their feline friends!
xoxo,
nina
15nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:11
Tasha,
lol! Well, my husband and his cat certainly have a very ’special’ relationship! I’m still jealous!
xoxo,
nina
16nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:13
Hi omi!
lmao! Yes, that was of course the intent! A little exercise in dramatic writing! I’m glad you enjoyed it tho!
Yes, they are interesting creatures aren’t they?
Thanks!
xoxo,
nina
17nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:14
Terry,
Ah yes, same but different! What I’ve noticed about cats is that they claim you, not the other way around!
I’m glad you enjoyed this!
xoxo,
nina
18nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:14
Strip Goddess,
:silly: lmao! Yes, one silly bitch is right! Thanks hon!
xoxo,
nina
19nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:15
Kyma,
Hi sweetie! Well, I’m glad I made you smile hon!
xoxo,
nina
20nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:16
Aimee,
Aww, thank you Angel! :angel:
I love you too! :kissing:
xoxo,
nina
ps - can you imagine the line forming to the left? lmao!
21nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:18
Mike,
Thanks hon!
Yeah! It’s a great time to be a Boston sports fan! The Red Sox in the World Series, the unstoppable 7-0 New England Patriots, BC is the #2 team in the country, the Bruins are 5-2 and looking good and the Celtics look to be great this year!
But I’m a baseball girl at heart!
Thanks!
xoxo,
nina
22nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:20
Michael,
Oh wow! I’m not sure whether to say thanks or I’m sorry! It’s never good to get cheated on, but at least you got rid of her.
I’m glad you enjoyed the ending tho!
Thanks!
xoxo,
nina
23nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:21
dinsdale_piranha,
Ah yes, well there is that! Which I’m sure is why he’ll never cheat on me! Thanks!
xoxo,
nina
24nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:22
Carol,
lmao! Yeah, I deserved that! hahahaha!
Thanks hon!
xoxo,
nina
25nina aoki
wrote on 22 October 2007 at 20:38
*note*
Okay… a few friends have emailed me over this one. So, if anyone feels completely pissed off about how I wrote this because they were momentarily rattled, I do sincerely apologize.
aishiteru wa,
nina
26Aimee
wrote on 23 October 2007 at 12:33
I imagine it’s a bit unruly… rowrrrrr! LMAO!
Mwah!
27JW
wrote on 23 October 2007 at 18:12
Pssst Moe,
Watch out for strange smelling catnip and be sure to have a local dog taste your food first, ok.
Good luck buddy.
28Alexa
wrote on 23 October 2007 at 19:34
FABULOUS Nina! Just as creative as ever! God I love you!
Abbracci
29nina aoki
wrote on 24 October 2007 at 19:40
Aimee,
lmao! Oh I can only imagine! hahahaha!
Mwah!! :kissing:
Love you Angel!
xoxo,
nina
30nina aoki
wrote on 24 October 2007 at 19:42
JW,
lmao! Yeah, I’ve been trying to encourage Moe to run away! But he won’t leave!
Thanks hon!
xoxo,
nina
31nina aoki
wrote on 24 October 2007 at 19:43
Alexa,
Awww, thank you sweetheart!
Mwah! :kissing:
xoxo,
nina
32anna
wrote on 25 October 2007 at 0:30
Great post - I haven’t stopped by in a long time, but now I remember why I always did. a:)
33nina aoki
wrote on 25 October 2007 at 11:21
Hi anna!
Thank you sweetheart! That’s very kind of you to say! :biggrin:
I hope you make geishaland a regular stop in your travels!
xoxo,
nina
34Anastasia
wrote on 27 October 2007 at 4:35
Cats are so territorial!!!
You nearly had me there at the beginning, even I thought ‘what the fuck? It’s not like she’s upset about this…infidelity?’ until the cat came into the picture, and I choked on my cigarette smoke (laughing). Yep, I have a cat too, and I call him all these pathetic cutesy nicknames, my son rolls his eyes at me, every one rolls their eyes when they hear me, but I haven’t done the song thing. Nope. My cat hates always makes a point of scratching at the door if I’m in my room with any one else. So I can just imagine if I had a special someone; I’d have to lock him in another room, wear earplugs (not to hear his mewling; typical male lol) and focus on the fundamental sexual moves.
At least Jeff didn’t sing Mull of Kintyre (eek!!!!! I’m not a big fan of Wings, they were stranger than the Plastic Ono Band to Me, a nondescript type of oddness. At least you knew what you were getting with the Plastic Ono Band).
35nina aoki
wrote on 28 October 2007 at 12:25
Hi Ana!
lmao! I’m glad you enjoyed this one!
Oh please, I swear if Jeff could make love to his cat he would have found a way to by now. :getlost:
When Jeff is home the two of them just lay around gazing into each other’s eyes and laying on top of one another. Moe is very attached to him, but I’m usually the one who winds up feeding the little furball!
Mmmm, I think you’re right about the singing! It could have been much worse! hahaha!
Thanks hon!
xoxo,
nina
36Mark Sumioka
wrote on 4 November 2007 at 6:18
If this is the same Nina Aoki that I knew many years ago, then you should contact me. We have a lot of catching up to do.
37nina aoki
wrote on 4 November 2007 at 10:57
Dear Mark,
If you believe you know me, there are better ways to get in touch with me which are listed on the About Page - but I think you may be mistaken. Your name doesn’t ring any bells, sorry.
nina aoki
38marlo
wrote on 10 November 2007 at 17:58
Ha ha ha you had me for a while…..
39nina aoki
wrote on 27 November 2007 at 14:34
marlo,
lol! Thanks!
xoxo,
nina
40Mike Paahana
wrote on 15 January 2008 at 18:41
the secret is not to get caught an if u do ack like its nothing an deny everything, put the blame back on the chix an u can get away with it foreva
41nina aoki
wrote on 15 January 2008 at 22:58
Mike Paahana,
Uh huh… If you say so, honey.