Little Boy Blue Meets the Sacred Feminine
Thoughts about interpersonal relationships and the role of gender based dynamics on a Monday morning; expanding upon an idea I wrote about here discussing the absolute power of Female Sexual Energy – my thoughts today center around the role gender plays in our day to day interactions. So in this thesis – Female Sexual Energy doesn’t refer directly to the act of having sex or the sexuality of females, but rather, the idea of sex as gender denominator and as a predictor of specific behaviors and how that sacred feminine energy defines parts of — and — acts as a variable in our significant relationships.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus you say? Time to move to Venus boys. Mars sucks… don’t bother coming – and there’s no women there either. 
In many ways the very basic premise of the male/female relationship and the role and power of feminine energy in our lives can be summed up like this: I have the pussy. I make the rules. — but these ideas offered here are not sexual in nature for the purposes of this particular construct. They’re more along the lines of how the men in our lives view us and how that progression from ‘hot chick’ to ‘mother archetype’ happens – because it inevitably always does to some degree or another.
What I’ve observed is that after the initial process of pair bonding occurs, there’s an eventual transference in how our men see us and how they view our role in their lives. Much of the heat and excitement surrounding the ‘falling in love’ and ‘being in love’ experience of two people meeting and deciding that they want to be together fades, and is gradually replaced with a surrogate mother-son paradigm.
So – how do we cope with and try to understand this?
An example:
I had an argument with my husband a couple of weeks ago. He had treated me in a way which did not meet my expectations – yes, it’s absolutely fair for you to have expectations in your relationships and you should be clear about what they are – and in the course of this argument he did something which really upset me and I made my feelings known to him. Of course he immediately apologized – and I knew that his apology was absolutely sincere in both my mind and his; men tend to function with a “I need to fix this problem” sort of relationship skill-set, and they view the standard apology as the go-to balm when we’re upset about something – but the apology isn’t without strings either because men also require something else: instant forgiveness – and when they don’t get that — things can change quickly.
I’ve begun to form a theory about why this dynamic exists, and I think it has to do with a man’s initial experience with a woman – his mother. When a child does something wrong and their mother gets angry or upset with them, they learn that all they need to do is apologize and mother will still love them anyway and everything will be all better.
Your mother doesn’t typically stay angry with you, does she?
But wives and girlfriends and cross gender friends aren’t mothers to the men in our lives – so this presents a quandary to the male because in most instances – and what is extremely frustrating to any woman – is that often times men have no idea what they’re apologizing for in the first place! Our feelings and the complexity of our emotional responses in any given situation are difficult for them to comprehend – but on a subconscious level, the man knows that he’s offered the apology and he can’t understand why everything isn’t all better now, which can then lead to these potential scenarios of how things eventually reach a conclusion.
- The Little Boy Blue: Also known as ‘The Pouting Child’ — When instant forgiveness is not received — men typically pout, which quickly turns to sulking, which can then become nasty if the woman does not eventually acquiesce and soothe the man’s bruised ego and apply a state of instant forgiveness and make everything all better. So in other words – it’s up to the woman to dispense with her own feelings in order to make the peace — just like mom used to do.
- The Take My Ball and Go Home: In these cases most often what’s happened is the woman has resolved to wait it out and is hoping that the man will realize that more needs to be done to address her feelings – but his pride is getting in the way of that. To him – he’s offered the apology and feels that he’s done enough – he’s said that he’s sorry, he’s stated his case and now it’s her problem. Fuck her – there’s lots of other pussy out there.
- The Reapproach: In these cases the man recognizes that more needs to be done to repair things and he’s sincerely interested (or at least presents the appearance of being interested) in trying to understand the woman’s feelings. He understands that the initial apology didn’t work and now it’s time to go buy some flowers — and a tennis bracelet if he’s really fucked things up.
- The Schoolyard Bully: This is the tough one – in these cases the man is so convinced that he’s done nothing wrong, or has painted himself into a corner that he now has to defend, that he comes out swinging (verbally or otherwise) in an attempt to overpower the woman’s feelings – this is the most dangerous scenario for women for the obvious reasons. It often gets nasty and a typical insult often includes calling the woman a cunt and saying something nasty about her cooking or the in-laws and him telling everybody he knows what an unreasonable total fucking bitch she is – and always has been too!
- The Act Like It Never Happened: This is perhaps the most disrespectful to us because in this case the man convinces himself that it’s probably our period or hormones and we’ll get over it sooner or later. Give her some time to cool off and everything will be fine – and not that that isn’t ’sometimes’ the cause of our “Drama Queen Academy Award Worthy Emotional Crisis” it’s most definitely living on the edge and could potentially make things much, much worse — I would advise against trying this one more than once.
There are no hard and fast rules about how we navigate our relationships and these ideas aren’t meant as a screed of good and healthy man bashing – which in itself is always good therapy for a girl every once in while – but these ideas do tend to hold true more often than not. The most difficult relationship to master are the ones formed between men and women – on all levels. In many instances I’ve found that when men cease to see us as a potential sexual conquest, they tend to categorize us as “other undefined mother figure” or worse, as “one of the boys” — we’re not seen as women anymore — and in our ’significant’ male/female relationships, how these dynamics are defined and dealt with speaks more to the overall health and strength of the connection between the two partners and how they’ve learned to overcome the conflicts which can and do arise inside a marriage or committed situation – or any other situation where these dynamics come into play.
There are no right or wrong answers here, nor is there a magic bullet to fix this, nor is this always the man’s fault either. We have to be honest and admit that sometimes we’re incredibly difficult to get along with and understand – but this is how the universe wants it to be. The sacred feminine, or, female sexual energy, however you want to define it… is the force which drives the universe – and men compete for this energy and attention at all levels and in all interpersonal gender crossed situations. This is the nature of things and it can take a lifetime to even begin to scratch the surface of understanding how our relationships function.
So — what happened with my husband?
I got flowers. ;)
I have the pussy. I make the rules. I get the flowers.
Enjoy your Monday!
On Edit: Two things — My husband read this post and is now calling me and asking me “is there anything I can do to serve you my darling queen with the pussy who makes all the rules?”
oy… me and my big mouth! :lol:
And a video clip from Pink Floyd’s The Wall. Despite the fact that the film is a self indulgent exploration of Roger Waters’ depression and is the worst Pink Floyd album ever – this video clip – especially the flower dance/animation illustrates the power of the pussy better than anything else I’ve ever seen.
“Pussy. The world’s first killer app!”
- nina
Nina: Good morning Sweet thing. You are a riot…… Men have a hard road ,thats for sure. I hope you enjoyed your flowers.I trust you had a great weekend. I did except My oldest and dearest Goat passed. Gweny, she was a peach and she went quick, so I’m down to two. I’m getting two baby cute males already named Lenny and Benny to go with Kenny and Penny. I love them to death. They are cute,well behaved and very easy to keep.On another subject, my J and I always talk,talk,talk things out. Fighting is not in my game, it is just tooooo mind bending. If you love someone, just treat them as you want to be treated. I know that sounds very simple and easy, but it works. Have a wonderful day Nina, and be sure to reward Jeff with your asset…….. Love Richard