Nina: Good morning to you. I know that some dude asking if that’s your mother makes you feel really good and it should. Hell I get a charge when some woman says to me, you don’t look that old LOL. Nice rainy day, looking for new computer as this one is getting tired… have a great day Nina. Richard

Nina,
It’s so nice when people think you’re younger than you actually are. I remember someone telling my husband that he had robbed the cradle. I had correct them that I was the one who robbed the cradle. lol

I can’t believe there was such a long line for GTA4. I went to Walmart at 830 this morning and was the only person in the electronics section. I got my copy in two minutes and left happily. How odd.

Take advantage of the ego-booster!!

~tiffany

Hi Richard,

Yes it was kind of cute! It’s been cold and rainy here too — good day to stay in bed I think, but too much work to do.

Oh you need a new computer? Well - why don’t you email me and I’ll help you select something which will make sense for you.

nina

Hi Tiffany,

I know! Its always kind of a thrill when I get carded now too! haha! Happens all the time.

I didn’t know Walmart sold M rated games. I thought that went against their whole parochial “family friendly everything made in China” deal they have going on — but I think for the “hardcore gamer” that whole getting it at midnight is part of that thrill too. I never got into the GTA series — tho I’ve played Halo with my son and I do like that quite a bit. He has a Wii as well and my husband and I have pretty much claimed that for ourselves!

nina

just wondering ~
do azaleas bloom in liberty city?
they sure do here,
like blazes!

Nina, there is a lot of violence against women portrayed in the GTA games, especially this last one (forced sexual situations, followed by killing the “woman.”).

What do you tell your son about that kind of stuff?

damn! she’s tough.

it’s a good question, though -
one I ponder time and time again:

how to help our children resist
this cruel world’s relentless allure
with the danse macabre ?

“rant alert…”

Here’s what I think is obscene.

ITEM: A couple of years ago, early in the evening and a block and a half from his inner-city high school, my son, then a freshman, is stunned as a huge black car pulls up on the curb next to him, and a uniformed guy gets out and waves him over. Having had a recent minor skirmish with the local police, the boy is terrified; he’s convinced this is an unmarked cop car stalking him. The guy asks a couple of questions implying suspicion of loitering, and gets my son on the defensive until the kid explains that he was merely on his way to see the high school musical. The guy then hands him a card, and tells him to think about joining the army - a recruiter!

That’s what I call “lurking.”

ITEM: The endless assault of seductive television commercials and mass mailings from various branches of the armed forces promising an adventurous life featuring, among many, many other fascinating things, access to computer technology and “video games” that would make GTA IV look like a walk in Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood.

ITEM: The morning news, where in a span of about fifteen minutes, we learn that yet another American aircraft carrier has passed through the Straights of Hormuz into the Persian Gulf (this is “Lurking,” too, with a capital “L”); that National Guardsmen - mostly from rural America where there are no jobs! - returning for their third or fourth tour in Iraq admit to the reporter that “we’re all divorced, our houses are being foreclosed,” and “there are people over here that need to be killed;” that the FLDS cult recently busted in Texas for what we can politely call “unseemly and objectionable” behavior was probably funded mainly by contracts from the Department of Defense (http://factnet.org/?p=313)!

(aside to Nina: I know you come from a military family. I mean no disrespect to the men and women who serve in our military. In fact, I believe the current political administration could be tried for “war crimes” simply based on how they’ve treated their own armed forces - actives, reserves, and vets.)

A couple of days ago, a friend gave me a “Cheney/Satan ‘08″ campaign bumper sticker. Think I better rush out & stick it on, pretend to be on the “right” side, and keep my head down.

Have a nice day.

“we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming: ‘la danse macabre’…”

Humph. Though I’ve got you by several years, still, that’s a lot better than I got. At one of my elder son’s football games last fall, an elderly gentleman struck up a conversation with me - and then asked me which of the kids on the field was my GRANDSON! Ouch. Ouch.

larokkaku,

lol! Well my cherry blossom tree popped last week! It’s filled with bright pink blooms and it looks so pretty in my front yard! Not sure about Liberty City tho…

nina

Caitlain,

That’s a fair and great question.

Let me preface my answer by saying this:

The decision to allow our son to play the GTA games was not an easy one, and wasn’t one we reached instantly. My husband and I had many discussions (sometimes heated) about whether or not it was appropriate — and we both went back and forth, sometimes doing a complete 180 on each other in terms of what our opinions were.

As a mother and as a woman — do I wish these types of games didn’t exist? Of course. On an intellectual level, I recognize the potential influence something like GTA can have on a child who doesn’t have proper parental guidance.

I think for me, it comes back to context. We’ve spent the time with our son to teach him about context — and he understands that the violence and acts portrayed in the GTA games is fictional. He’s able to make that disconnect and enjoy the game as a game.

I think all things in life do come down to understanding the context. He could very easily turn on the television and learn of horrific acts against humanity at the hands of other humans, he can learn about these things in school, he can see portrayals of women in pornography when he gets older which are not realistic depictions of women or healthy sexuality — so it comes down to teaching children about context and making them responsible for that context.

Some of it too I think comes down to knowing your own child and understanding what’s making them tick and how they respond to different stimuli. I don’t believe people reach their 18th birthday and all of a sudden have the appropriate framework and skills to successfully navigate life — similarly, younger teens very often can exhibit a more mature perspective and then can be trusted to understand the context of something like GTA – if the parent teaches them the appropriate life skills and context of what something is all about.

Tho my son tends to like to blow things up and play the game more freestyle than actually play the “missions”

The other thing with children is this idea of the word “no” and the barriers we create when we tell them “no”.

A good example: My son wanted a BB gun a couple of years ago. All his friends had BB guns, and he wanted one too. Both my husband and I said absolutely not - and we stuck by that decision, but it grew and grew and grew because we put up that barrier and it made our son want it more. So, we tried a different approach. We got him the BB gun, taught him to be safe, gave him the rules — and two weeks later he didn’t want it anymore. So, sometimes it’s better to let kids explore these things if there’s the proper parental supervision and guidance.

It’s never easy. Every day is a new challenge. And kids are exposed to way too much in life today that they don’t have the appropriate context to understand. Hypersexualization, violence, drugs, a failed education system, a world gone crazy, war — all of it. But all we can do as parents is our best and try to pick our battles and hope that we’ve taught our kids the difference between right and wrong.

nina

larokkaku,

It was a fair question I thought…

But as I said to Caitlain, it’s never easy and it comes down to parental responsibility. We do our children a huge disservice when we send them out into the world and expect them to find the answers to life’s questions all on their own, or in the schools, which are pretty useless for just about everything these days.

nina

larokkaku,

lmao! Well — that’s some rant!

Everything you’ve said is a complete and accurate portrayal about how the US military has been abused by politicians. The Military is under enormous pressure to meet recruitment quotas right now — but also looking back in history a bit, ever since the military draft was abolished, the military has been forced to “market” itself with advertising, school visits, and many aggressive tactics which exploit the naive nature, or the social or economic plight of young people in an effort to get them to enlist.

Even certain video games which glamorize military life are responsible! And movies which have the stamp of approval from The Pentagon? Top Gun? etc… etc… etc…

There was a time many years ago when I would have been proud for anyone to serve their country in the military and I would have seen it as a great opportunity and as a way to build character — but our military is being abused and that’s our fault. Our children shouldn’t be dying to secure the profits of Exxon/Mobil and to protect Saudi Arabia’s oil interests — which is EXACTLY what we’re doing in Iraq and Afghanistan. We elect these people and put them in power. This country elected Bush/Cheney twice. We’ve continually turned a blind eye to what our civilian leaders are doing in our name — for years.

I am not offended by your rant… and my Father would be offended by what’s been done to this country’s armed forces. Of that I am 100% sure. He dedicated his life to the US Navy and to the service of this country. He would be appalled by how the military is currently being abused.

Enjoy your day!

nina

dinsdale_piranha,

lmao! Oh I’m sorry hon! Yes, that had to hurt! hahaha!

nina

I accept that answer, and agree with you wholeheartedly about the need to define context for children and teach them how to understand the differences between reality and fantasy. My parents taught us from an early age about that, and how to make decisions rationally. I was home schooled until I went into the 7th grade and knew all of this when I got there. I was flabbergasted at how…immature (for the lack of a more appropriate word) the other kids were compared to me.

I was hoping you’d say exactly what you did. I’d ask you to marry me if you weren’t already taken. Thank you for taking the time to explain it. <3

Caitlain,

And I would move you to Massachusetts too… hmmm…

You are very welcome for the explanation and thank you for asking the question and for sharing your own perspectives and experiences. I’m not surprised at the word ‘mature’ either — our schools (and this is a rant I could go on for days) but our schools have failed. They’ve become factories which serve the single mission of forcing conformity and stamping out any shred of individuality and personal expression. Sometimes I feel as tho the schools do more damage than good.

I think also — many parents make the critical mistake of believing that their children are simply blank slates. Children are *not* blank slates. They’re small & young people, as different and individual as the rest of us, with the same feelings and emotions and reactions as adults — the only difference is understanding life’s contexts, and that’s what a parent’s job should be — not trying to make our children everything we want them to be, but helping them to become everything that they can be.

nina

Um, I think I’d rather move you to Florida. The weather is better down here, and I’d want to show you off on Haulover Beach. ;-)

Caitiebelle,

Hmmm — okay. You’d have to come here for the ceremony, but I’d consider winters in Florida! ;)

Haulover Beach? Oh! Is that the topless beach? Hmmm, I may need to reconsider this! lol!

Mwah!

nina

Not just topless, but clothing optional. You won’t need a thread, my dear. ;-)

Caitiebelle,

You know — I’ve never been to a clothing optional beach — only topless.

But then again, I DO hate tanlines…

(okay — now I’m getting all hot and bothered here thinking about this!) :razz:

You’re such a brat… ;)

MWAH!

nina

MAN, you are hitting all my hot topics tonight. All you need to do is post something in Sanctuary, and the trifecta will be complete. I better go check over there, after I respond here.

Anyway, I appreciate when parents take the time to understand what their child wants and what that will affect as they mature. I don’t know how old your son is (except that he’s in his teens, I think), but I also think that once they reach the level where they get embarrassed by other kids checkin’ out their mom, they’re past the state where these types of video games are going to change their opinion of women.

I have two kids, ages 9 (as of this coming May) and 6. I intend to buy GTA IV tomorrow (I finally bowed to the hype), but I also have the parental controls set on my xbox with a password that the kids don’t know. So, I can leave the game out and my kids can see that I have it, but they can’t play it. Because they don’t know the context. Oh, my kids know that there is a context for many situations. We took them to see The Wedding Singer, a musical play based on the Adam Sandler movie (btw, the show sucks ass). We weren’t quite aware of the amount of adult content, and when the 6 year old little girl turns to my wife and says ‘Mommy, what’s a skanky whore?’ and we say ‘don’t worry about it’, we know that she will interpret that to mean ‘bad words’. So, as you have done, putting it in the proper context is the right way to go about it.

Anyway, enough ranting.

hapes,

:lol: Well — my Sanctuary has been a busy place lately too!

Yes — I feel comfortable saying that my son is in his early teens, and you’re right; when they reach an age where they’re at least aware that their friends are checking out their mom, GTA is the least of the worry!

You make great points and additions to the discussion about context and parental responsibility. This is also something which my husband and I have often dealt with (as any parents do) when our kids are unexpectedly exposed to things which we haven’t prepared them for. I remember being in CVS once with my son and out of nowhere he blurted out “hey mom, what’s a douche for?” and all the older women standing around us were horrified! I turned bright red and quickly hustled us out of the store — but then of course I had to explain it to him. So, kids will often give us many surprises! But that’s the joy of kids I suppose!

My biggest concern is that I feel that kids really are exposed to way too much at too young an age — but rather than trying to keep my son sheltered, we’ve made the decision to educate him and teach him. He has to survive in this world, and no one ever survives on ignorance. There’s a big difference between ignorance and innocence I think.

Thanks much,

nina