No Means No
File this one under — “It’s all Lazy Ichi’s fault”; first he leaves me a link to this story here on the BBC website about a confused but amorous seal which tried to have sex with a helpless penguin on some secluded Antarctic island beach. Hardly the Club Med Havana – but scientists have been beside themselves trying to figure out why the seal did it? What went wrong? What drove the young male seal to rape the penguin?
But then Ichi sends me another link to a blog post here by some guy who calls himself Jesus’ General who makes me proud to wear my Mao Corset while I drive my moped thru the dirty streets of Beijing on my way to service some high ranking party official.
From the BBC story:
De Bruyn and a colleague were on Trypot beach at Marion Island to study elephant seals when they noticed a young, adult male Antarctic fur seal, in good condition, attempting to copulate with an adult king penguin of unknown sex.
The 100kg seal first subdued the 15kg penguin by lying on it.
The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail.
The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.
After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report.
What? You think this is unusual? Do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard “I’ll call you?” after a round of sport fucking with a bunch of factory workers after they’ve finished putting lead paint on those stupid Disney toys you silly American soccer moms buy for those rotten brats you keep pushing out of that gaping wound you call a vagina? Try waiting eight years to get permission from the state just so you can have one kid you rotten selfish SUV driving bitches and get back to me, m’kay?
What makes you think a male seal is any different? It does have a penis, yes?
But this nugget of insight from Jesus’ General was just too much:
“Notice how they blame it on the male seal rather than the sluttily attired penguin of indeterminate gender. Typical.”
Gah! Oh, sure. Of course the penguin asked for it. 
If you had seen the film Happy Feet you would know that the penguin is a bastion of your so-called heterosexual Christian family values dear General, and not some deviant slut running half dressed along some beach with her lesbian lover while singing protest songs and extolling the virtues of using abortion as an alternate form of birth control.
We leave that to Hillary Clinton, Comrade.
you are too funny.
or maybe penguins are really this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ_mlwnAmr0
~ larokkaku