More on the sexual fluidity of women with a cup of Republic Darjeeling tea; a great article here in the NYT sent to me by my lovely Caitlain this morning explores this ever evolving concept about how women think about and respond to sex and sexual situations, especially with regard to bisexuality in self identified straight women.  There’s a great phrase in the article that I’m going to outright steal because it’s just so incredibly accurate – the multidimensionality of female sexuality – which in my opinion just says everything about being a woman.

Interestingly enough – I first wrote about the idea of sexual fluidity in women here after (Caitlain again… thank you honey), turned me on to Lisa Diamond’s book of the same name.  I did order it – but I haven’t had a chance to fully read it yet, but I’m finding myself completely drawn in and fascinated by the concept.  At the time I was awash in an emotional crisis (yeah… like that’s anything new…) over an aspect of my own bisexuality, specifically my attraction issues, and I found many of the ideas offered there to be comforting and reassuring.

Much of what geishaland is and what it has become… is about exploring the multidimensional nature of female sexuality as seen thru one woman’s eyes; my own.  I can only tell my own story here… and my sexuality is a big part of that story… by no means everything, but certainly significant considering that I primarily write about relationships of all kinds.   But I’m no expert and I have no real credentials other than my own life experience and ability to rationally think about things to guide me – which is why I’ve tried to explore these topics as openly as possible and to consider other opinions and to try and encourage discussion about these things – and it’s also why I write erotica – as a means to express the multidimensional nature of my own sexuality.

An interesting topic that I’ve seen on various blogs lately has been pornography.  Both Piper and Steve have posts up about the topic here and here where they each offer their own perspective on how porn fits into their lives — as an example.  And they are a committed couple who also explore swinging as their particular lifestyle choice.  Each of their takes was interesting.  I could relate to Piper’s feelings about how porn may be used as a surrogate for real intimacy but how her feelings had evolved, and I found Steve’s take on how porn has become so extreme to be equally interesting.

(This is why I enjoy these topics so much — our sexuality is the single biggest thing which defines us and our lives, and it’s always evolving and changing… as well as our understanding and acceptance of it too)

The dirty little secret – according to a Ladies Home Journal survey of all places, is that 47% of women admitted to using either erotica or pornography to heighten their sexual experiences – but I don’t think that number is a true reflection, especially because there’s a real distinction between erotica and porn.  When I hear the word erotica, I tend to think of written material, tho it could also apply to erotic imagery – but porn tends to suggest a graphic visual representation of sexual acts, which is a bit different.  And going back to the NYT article I referenced at the top – porn was used to measure the arousal level of women watching it as a control for the studies done.  (Tho even that is a little subjective, because not everyone gets turned on by the same things, right?  We all get off in our own little unique ways)

Curiously – women responded to watching not just straight sex, but also men having sex with men, and most significantly, women with other women, and the key trigger tended to be the intensity of the action.  So in other words – the hotter the action, the more aroused the women became, which tends to follow my own experience there too.

I enjoy watching porn – to a point.  It isn’t something I seek out, but it isn’t something I consider gross or a turn off either.  I’ve often been turned on by porn; and usually, the more out on the fringes it was, especially in terms of BDSM or D/s – the more aroused I’d get.  I would tend to visualize myself in the scenes I was watching, sometimes pulling feelings and memories from my own experiences, and the more I was able to visualize those things in my own mind, the more aroused I’d become.  I don’t know that this is by any means a universal kind of response.  Men and women process sexual stimulation entirely differently – or so we thought – maybe we really don’t?

Tho you can count on your government to try and stamp out all your dirty fun…

If you’ve been paying attention – two porn producers in two different cases – articles here and here – have recently been prosecuted by the US government for obscenity.  Now, I hate to say it, but there really are some things out there which are completely shocking and just way off the reservation – but I don’t think the government should get to make those decisions for us.  Rather – I think we need to at least respect that there are just some things that people want to do in a sexual setting that might make absolutely no sense to us, but make all the sense in the world to them – and we shouldn’t judge that either (not including underage or illegal activity), unless we’re prepared to have our own tastes, kinks and turn-ons scrutinized the next time we want to get off.

Another concept I’m quickly becoming hip to is the reality that when we lived in Florida during the 90’s, and when I worked as a phone sex operator… that pretty much made me a sex worker according to this.

I guess I never really thought of it that way… or even bothered to realize that little fact until recently… maybe I need to write about it again.  And yes… I did give good phone!  :lol:

Enjoy your Thursday