“Ah well, Manny being Manny… Kind of like Nina being Nina…  ;) ”

Completely tickled would be the only way to describe the way this simple little phrase which my friend said to me today made me feel; as if the vagaries and idiosyncrasies of my digital reflection have taken on an existence of their own – my moods, ideas, emotional outbursts, and whatever else happens to linger out along the luscious landscapes and paths of geishaland; my carefully cultivated endearing flakiness expressed in three simple words — Nina Being Nina. An idea which also fits into other similar ideas expressed here and here as I struggle to come to terms with the whole meaning of what this is all about for me.

But for the moment – I’ll settle for Nina Being Nina! :lol:

In many ways how we choose to represent ourselves tells much more about who we are and how our mind works than anything else.  It’s easy to change our appearance or our fashionable shoes – but much harder to change how we process the world around us and then how we in turn engage with that.  Writing allows me a degree of introspection and interaction, especially in this medium; and all things considered, I’m a pretty social person to begin with, so perhaps this is why I’ve found such comfort here inside my digital shell as I continue to plug away and share these little pieces of myself with the world.  In here I can do and say and think what I want – which as anyone who knows me will confirm is pretty much how I do anything at all; “Nina is going to do what Nina is going to do… and that’s pretty much all there is to it…”

I think that’s how I’ve always lived my life too – on my own terms and by my own rules; as unconventional and unrepentant as that may be.  I just feel that we’re here in this lifetime to explore everything which surrounds us, and to deny ourselves the benefit and knowledge, hence wisdom, which can only come from experience, is simply anti-human.

We’re here to live life… not to deny our humanity, but to revel in all that our humanity gives to us.  Life is about experiencing everything we can.

So, I’ve been in a bit of a snit for most of the week as I mentioned here, here, and here – and I had attributed most of that to simply recovering from my appendectomy and the unsettled ripples in my personal waters which that all caused.  It is a bit disjointing and disassociating to find yourself in such a predicament, and I had become convinced that there was something else wrong with me – nothing concrete, simply just a feeling – tho that seems to have passed as quickly as it came.  I woke up this morning and felt fine, perfectly normal.  The cramping, pains, and general malaise which had been associated with the past week had passed, and I actually felt good, like myself, like normal.

Strange how these cycles move… I don’t know that I’ll ever figure it out.  I simply just accept it as a fact of my existence – all things move in cycles, and nothing is permanent.

I did manage to do some housecleaning today, and there’s still more to do, but I think I’m done for the day.  Lisa is coming down tonight and we might go see the new X Files movie and we’re going to head down to Sakonnet Vineyards and then to Newport tomorrow provided it stops raining as I mentioned here – tho I get really turned on by rain, so we might just go anyway.  I love the beach when it’s raining too.

There’s a woman who belongs to the same forum I do who I’ve come to like quite a bit – she’s interesting, engaging and sexy in that intellectually compelling kind of way; plus I think we have a lot in common too — I always find intellect to be the sexiest thing about anyone… male or female.

So, she posted something there recently which stirred a powerful memory for me.

Know how you have memories of seeing/doing something funny, sexy, ludicrous, etc. while a certain song played? Well, I thought it would be fun to post your song with your funniest, sexiest, most ludicrous memory!

Here’s the song: Don’t Cha

And my sexiest memory to go with this song: One of my all-time favorite women, who’s a trained ballet dancer, dancing with a chair in quite a different way while in the privacy of our hotel room. I have to admit, I never wanted to be a chair so badly!

This started me thinking about when Lisa and I were together one time at her house; alone in bed, naked… she was laying on her back with her arms raised and relaxed above her as she rested against the pillows, floating like an ethereal goddess beneath me.  I was also naked — straddling her, and I reached over and took a bottle of Kama Sutra Pleasure Garden Oil from the drawer in the night stand and held it a few inches above her belly and just slowly squeezed the sweet liquid out onto her skin as our eyes locked together and as mine darted back and forth to watch the slow streams drizzle across her smooth flesh… Angel by Massive Attack was playing in the background… and it’s almost as if this memory is a movie I can play and replay over and over again in my mind – and everytime I hear this song, I remember this moment.  Vividly.  The sights, the sounds, the scents… the electric memory of our skin sliding together as I pressed my abdomen against hers as we folded ourselves around each other.

Such a powerful thing to remember…

And I think I’ve figured out what I’m doing tonight too!  :P

Enjoy your weekend!

Music Today: Sugar Walls (Extended Remix) / Sheena Easton